Friday, September 24, 2010


Well I thought I had given this up for a bit but I guess that I am back to writing some of my thoughts.

I dont know what makes me want to do this to be honest. I don't really like sharing my feelings with people but I guess I should open up a bit. Today is a bit of a rough day and i dont know why. Not in a sad depressing way, but its just a bit harder. My sleeping schedule has been a bit wacky and i think that I am out of my routine. And I know what everyone is saying to themselves "wait until the kid comes if you want to talk about the lack of sleep", and I agree. I cant wait until the kid comes. I think its a girl, but that is just my guess.

Amanda is going to Texas this week and I have the place to myself. I think I am going to make a lot of seafood dishes that Amanda won't eat and just catch up. I think after this weekend I can get back to being myself.

Anyway - I think I feel better after that. I am going to see my friend David who I grew up with tomorrow and I think it will be nice. He is a good person and his wife is having a baby soon too. I think a good dose of an old friend is what probably better than any medicine or vitamin I can take.

I hope everyone is doing well -

Monday, June 7, 2010

Nice Card

I came home from work today and my friend Kelli in Chicago sent me a very nice card in the mail. She also sent an article with it, and I opened it up and it said "Make yourself replaceable at work" and I thought to myslef 'this isnt the most motivating thing I have ever read in my life', but then I realized I read the WRONG side and there was a very nice article about someone with MS who is doing great.

I read a lot of stuff on the internet about this, and its so interesting to read what people have to say. I do think this is a devastating illness, but I also think that some of these people on the internet don't have anything else better to do but write these posts. I mean, I know some people in real life that have this for like 35 years, and they are doing great...but I guess those people don't write blogs on the internet about it. I think I need to filter some of the stuff I read. Looks like I am going back to ESPN and TMZ (yes, thats right, I said TMZ - Im like a 16 year old chick and I cant blame that on MS).

I went to a wedding this weekend and it was really nice in Manhattan. It was good to laugh and dance and have fun and not think about this for a bit.

Amanda and I are trying to plan our wedding out and I think I have lost every single decision that we are trying to make as "joint".

I'm sure I'll figure it out.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Today's Fun

I got back from my 9 day trip to Texas yesterday and had dinner with my mom. She was surprised to know that I could get a car service to drop me off at our house (which is about 13 miles from LaGuardia). I have no idea why she would think a car service wouldn't go there, but I can't complain about that since she made me dinner and has really helped me out the last few weeks. This has been exceptionally hard on my parents since my sister (who has also been very nice to me) is sick too. It's hard for them to grasp the idea that both of their kids are sick, but in reality, the best way to do that is for us to overcome our illnesses!

I go to the Doctor tomorrow to start treatment, and I hope the road to recovery. I began eating a new diet, so that it can help me fend off any attacks. The diet, in conjunction with the medicine and the treatment, are going to be my best weapons in fighting this.

I was trying to pinpoint the exact time I think I had symptoms. For the life of me, I can't recall ever having anything like this until early this year. While I do not know what causes these things or how long I have had it, I do know that I had a bad reaction to the H1N1 Flu Shot. My theory is that I got the shot in January at the same time I had a physical. I remember my left bicep area feeling numb and dead for like a month (that's where they shot me with the needle). I didnt go back to the doctor, since it was a pain in the ass, and it really wasnt a big deal at the time. Eventually, it went away. My theory is that the strain of H1N1 vaccine stood in my body and then when I got this stomach bug a month or so, I think it manifested itself again.

Who knows how it happened, I just know I need to fix it.

Thanks for stopping by,

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Scared, but Exicted

I dont know how I can be both. I do know that I am scared since I havent started medication and I do not know what the future holds for me. I do know that I am also excited as every day I learn a bit more and can come up with a gameplan of how to attack this. I figure, "hey, I already have this can I fix it!".

Its weird to be honest. I woke up on Sunday and I couldnt feel my arm. And I started to panic. And then I realized I slept on my arm and I got feeling back in about 2 seconds. I am my own worst enemy right now. As I get more comfortable with this, I've started to eat and sleep again on a normal schedule and I got my energy back and feel a bunch better.

I have had some really nice people come up to me in the last few days and reach out to me in ways that I never thought our relationship was developed. I do feel like I have been given a great opportunity to succeed even with the potential challenges I see ahead of me.

I still really have no feeling in my left foot. On a side note, I feel my left foot is quite the asshole.

Thanks for stopping by -- until next time,

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The Beginning!

My journey with MS began on May 14th, 2010.

I truly do not know what to expect, nor do I know how my journey will play out. I DO know that I am going to do my part to make sure I am in control as much as possible.

I think that the first thing that I have realized is that most people say "I'm so sorry", which is the correct thing to say, but since I got my diagnosis, I have never felt so loved or important in my life. My fiancee Amanda, who I am lucky to have in my life, also quickly became my hero. I was so upset when I was driving home into Manhattan from the Neurologists office, about how difficult it would be to tell her that I have MS, I was panicking. I had called her on the phone to prep her that I did indeed have MS, and I was expecting when I got home that we would sit on the couch and cry or have a serious heart to heart. Instead, Amanda greeted me with a big hug and kiss and asked me if I wanted ice cream! I asked her if she wanted to talk and what she said was that the MS didnt change the way she felt about me, and we will figure it out. Then we went for a nice long walk on the pier, and we sat down and faced the water. It was the most relaxed I have felt in years. Its amazing how on a day when I felt so devastated, that one person can make me feel so calm within myself.

From what I know, MS seems like a tricky illness. What I dont know is how bad it will affect me, and what I should do to maintain my health. I am reading up to see what I need to do and how I need to do it. The good thing is that I walk everywhere, and Ruby (our dog) will become VERY fit. Its weird, because after speaking to the Neurologist, apparently I have had this for a while. That also said, I have very minor symptoms (at least for now), mostly just a dead heel of my left foot, and some tingling in my right foot. There is no real pain, and it just feels like I am walking on a pair of socks that are bunched up.

I do want to thank all of my friends and family that have showed support. I can't begin to describe how much that means to me. I know some of you I dont speak to very much, or see very often, but my words here can't describe how much you all mean to me.

That said, I do hope to make this blog fun. I hope that we can make light of this and someday laugh about some of these stories. Apparently there is a lot of falling down with this illness, so I think laughter is the best cure. Maybe I can be more raunchy and become the Andrew Dice Clay of Illness Blogs.

On a side note: "Falling Down" was a really good movie, and I never like movies.

Thanks again, and until my next post -

P.S.: I know what some of you are saying, that I am a total geek that I am blogging. Well, I have to admit, the more I talk and write about this, the more comfortable I feel about it, so I'm gonna give this a try until I have nothing to say, or forget my password (50-50 odds). And I don't do facebook or any of that other shit, so this is my way of opening up. This is much more intimite then knowing some of you love "Billy Ocean" and are fans of "People who use the word Guesstimate" suck it.